I am twenty-something and of course, still struggling to find my way through life, in fact, I am at the brim of this life discovery, and you know what they say about your 20s? They are the years you live the most, but most importantly they are the years you learn the most.
But, then learning hasn't been all the way an easy, smooth, swift sailing ride, not at all, learning has been a roller coaster, a pattern of lows and downs. It's sweet sometimes but it can be salty and sour at times.
And while some things are very easy to figure out, understand, and utilize, some things on the other hand are just nerve-wracking to learn, it might take your series of making mistakes, wrong decisions, clueless turns, and bad choices. It might take you on a journey.
Those things are just hard to get straight, but once you did, they become the easiest to navigate.
They can be different for everyone, and I am sharing my own with you in hopes that you also learn from my difficulties.
PRIORITIES:
Priorities are very vital to living a successful life, and whatever it is you do, don't have your priorities misplaced. Do what you can do within your power to have your priorities in order. Trust me it's the best thing you will do for your life.
It's the best thing I learned to do for my own life.
CHARITY BEGINS AT HOME:
I learned this at school, funny and shocking I know, but school is where I interact the most with people, so technically yeah I learned it in school.
Especially during clinical postings (I am a nursing student by the way) where my span of interactions increases.
Here is what I learned about people's behavior, manner, and attitude toward others - people are different, some are nice, some are cruel, some are kind, and some are arrogant. And most importantly I am also different from people, I don't need to copy other people's behaviors (when it's bad).
The statement charity begins at home best defines everything I want to say here. I am an ambassador to my home, and whatever bad behavior I displayed outside feels like a representation of my family name, and for that, I try as much as I can to be good even for that sake.
And I try also as much as I can to not judge others because I don't know their family story, how they grow up (with love or not), or where they learned their values.
But, don't get it twisted, of course, there are other factors shaping and influencing our behavior apart from home.
Home is just the one I choose to represent mine.
DITCHING TRENDS:
One of the things I pride myself on is that I am not a follower of trends. I haven't been since after the peak of my pubertal age declined.
Those days when it was just cool to do something simply because everyone else was doing it, but even then, it was usually tempting for me because I hardly engage in these trends. And now that I am wiser, I never give in to trends, and I do it now with purpose. Whatever it is, fashion, beauty, mindset, music, etc.
I only participate in trends when I genuinely like them, when they align with my values when I can afford it when I feel like it's fun, it's appropriate, and it's not going to harm anyone, not because I feel obliged to since everyone is doing it.
For the moment you feel the need to always try everything trendy, then it's time for you to check yourself.
LETTING GO:
Letting go of things I have no power and can't control and of people I can't force to stay. You can't force things to happen for you and you definitely can't force people to stay in your life, these are just things you can't control. But, the one thing you can control is your sanity and peace of mind, and that is done by learning to let go. Just let them go, just let it go. If it can be then it can be, and if it cannot be then it cannot be only because it is good, trust me it's only for the best.
And trust me, one of the hardest things I had to ever do in my life is letting go of certain people, not because I wanted to but because I had to, I had to because these people have shown clearly, countless times that they have no place in my life, and so, I cleared up the space for things and people more beneficial.
So let it go, if you can't control it, let them go, it's not in your power to make them stay.
BELIEVING IN MYSELF:
Believing in myself was one of the hardest things for me, it is the one thing I am still having a tough time learning. And it was only recently that I learned to believe in myself, in my big dreams, in my capabilities, in my wonders, and my power.
No one was born perfect in their art, we all learn through mistakes and trying. There is always a first time for everything, so just believe, start and you will achieve it. And even if you didn't you tried at least, besides that's something we'll never know until you try.
This is how I am learning to believe in myself and to push myself to do the scariest things in life.
I talked more about this in the book - we're all creative.
STAYING TRUE TO MYSELF:
Being authentic, knowing my identity, who I am, and most importantly being proud of it.
Accepting my identity was honestly a bit of a struggle at some point, I guess it's the case for most of us, because when you look around you everyone is different and unique and special, to a point you can't help but admire how certain people are, which is good until you begin to wonder why you're not like so, you begin to fancy being like so, forgetting that how you're is also as unique and special and beautiful.
I remember how I began to question every single thing about myself. Why am I born into my family, why am I a Hausa girl, why am I small, petite, and dark in complexion, why am I wearing glasses, why am I not as girly? At a point you can say, I was insecure about my entire existence.
And this honestly was something I am not aware of how or when I got over it, It was something I just happen to surpass now, some how I have managed to grow and redeem myself. I am now more self-aware of who I am, and not just that but also how valuable I am, and how relevant my existence is to my society.
I am now very proud of everything about me, my family, my roots, my origin, my looks, my appearance, my personality, and every single thing.
I have not just accepted that, but I have accepted it with dignity, pride, and truth.
GRATITUDE:
Happiness is not everlasting, and no amount of quotes, tweets, and pins telling you to be happy or you must be happy will make you happy. I am sorry, but happiness isn't the goal in life, at least not the standard of happiness being set for us these days, because if that and whatever is considered happiness is what you're reaching for then you're chasing a shadow.
Happiness is dynamic, it changes, and it comes as part of life along with sadness, they are interchangeable and they each must come and go. And when happiness is being over emphasis and aimed at all causes, then one is only bound to meet up with so much sadness, agony, and a feeling of dissatisfaction with oneself. Happiness can simply be attained without aiming.
And I learned all of this through gratitude.
KNOWING MY TRUE PURPOSE:
Confusion was my best life coach, it made me learn things I never thought were teachable, things I never thought can be cleared up. Things like my purpose in life.
Growing up we were thought that the only purpose in life is to strive for Jannah (heaven) that is what matters and God created us to worship him. But then along the way things got in between that pursuit and thoughts began to digress, there were distractions, worldly distractions, and you begin to chase these distractions, giving in your all, thinking getting them is all that matters. But somehow you're still so confused, the void keeps getting wider and wider, needing to be filled with essence, value, and with the truth.
And that's how Confusion thought me, that after all my true purpose in this life is to serve the Almighty, to strive for Jannah and not worldly things. And simply knowing that saved me a lot of hassle, and a lot of trying to figure it out.
BEING CREATIVE:
This is something I never thought I can learn, for a very long time I believed creativity to be something only a few people have the ability to do.
Until life thought me otherwise, turns out everyone can be creative, I can be creative, you can be creative and even most importantly, everyone can make a living out of their creativity.
This is because we all have ideas, thoughts, and imaginations. In the mind, we're all innovators but in reality, only a certain amount of people have the ability to innovate, to bring their ideas, imaginations, and thoughts to life for the world to see and judge. These few people are the ones being recognized as creative.
I learned the ability to do what these people are doing and that is what makes me creative. Honestly, I never knew I was creative until it was said to me by various people at various times.
You can also learn the ability to do what we're doing differently and become creative as well.
All the answers you need are in my book - we are all creative.
Thank you for taking the time to read through some of my experiences, hope it was insightful.
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